Updates for Jim and Frank
At 2:50 Jim passed very peacefully. His sister Betsy and I were at his side with our hands on him as his breath began to fade. The rain started to come on strong so I opened the door so he could hear and as it abated and the sun came out he was gone.
Good by sweet prince. You are much loved and we will think of you often.
Dear friends & family
Today was very dynamic as I had taken Jim off any depressant/pain drugs so I could bring him into as high as state of conscious as I could so that at the end of the day I could ask him if he was ready to go and take the end of life drugs. Separately David Raney and I asked Jim if he wanted to take the end of life drugs and that now was the time to make that decision. We couldn't get an answer out of him so now we are keeping him comfortable with Ativan & morphine.
Jim's sister Betsey, Jim's brother Bruce and his wife and daughter Suzanne and Lauren are here. After we all dicided that we would let him go naturally I gave him a large dose of comfort meds. We all then one by one said good buy. We all were crying as we knew that we would probably not be able to communicate with him again. My heart is breaking, I didn't know how much I love him.
People ask me how I am, I say; I have no perspectives for this experience. I say I don’t know.
However, I’m very present, observant, and, I’m told by a friend that John Lennon said love means you have to say you’re sorry ever 5 minutes.
Jim is very weak now and has great difficulty walking, talking or holding onto things; like my favorite Japanese dime store porcelain candy dishes. I pray for companion and selflessness.
I’m Churchilling my way through a river that I can not let touch me. I keep it away with the day to day, some hummer, and distracting lively conversations between friends.
It’s remarkable to watch Jim rally when he knows friends are coming over to visit. Like any deva on opening night who’s certain the stage is a regrettable place to head out too, grousing all the way and then once together lighting up with remembrances and old story’s. Yet once he sees there faces the clouds part and he’s back for an uncharacteristically short appearance.
So many have come to visit. They exchange the love they carry for one another and the room becomes a tender place.
Our last visit to Jims oncologist for a final PET scan showed that a majority of his liver is now cancer. It is also, inconsequentially, in his lungs. Every day a little bit of him slips away. He so wants to tackle all his little projects around the house. I do my best to let him have his freedom.
Jim is now on home hospice care. This means he will have all the comforts of home while getting the care and medicines he needs. I want to say thank you to our friends who have stepped up to help. Aric and Stuart were here yesterday wile I went to work for the morning. I am so grateful.
How am I? I feel like i'm trying to tame the wind. Or those people you see in a disaster film who know there's no point in running any more. They stop and turn to watch the giant wave they know will consume them. I don't know where or when to surrender.
Last night Bill Cooper, Steve Johnson, Jim, and I went to the Back to the Back Lot party at studio one. It was a great evening out for Jim and me. Much thanks to our buds Bill and Steve. The evening was manly in the Back Lot. I stole a look at the old dance floor of my youth. It looked so much smaller then I remember. So many memories.
Jim is resting and is much better after the calcium reduction therapy. We continue with hydration infusions every three days. We are planning to attend the Studio 1 party tomorrow night 11/9/19.
I continue to work 2 days a week and so grateful for the help we've got from our friends who are hanging out with Jim wile I'm away from the house.
Jim's sister Betsy is returning to Michigan tomorrow. Boy am I going to miss her. Watch out Florence Nightingale, you're about to lose your place.
F R A N K B A R R O N
Los Angeles Artist working in Bronze & Ceramic
Frank Barron was born June 1957 in the southern United States and moved to California at the age of seven. Growing up in California’s San Fernando Valley Frank started painting at age twelve. He is now living in Hollywood, California working in bronze, steel and ceramics.
I Have A Plate In My Head
Bronze & porcelain
24" x 20" x 15"